True Forgiveness
God loves those who practice total and true Christian
forgiveness and exalts them. It is the forgiveness Jesus taught and practiced. Joseph
is a model of genuine forgiveness.
How he forgave his brothers who had treated him in the most horrendous manner is described in detail in Genesis chapter 45 and will be an example for us for all times.
(1) Verse 1: When you forgive someone, you don’t talk about the harm he had
done you, even to the person you forgave.
Some people
would never miss the opportunity to brag about the way they had forgiven someone
that had harmed them! This is not true forgiveness. When Joseph decided it was
time to reveal himself to his brothers, the first thing he did was to ask all
the Egyptians present – his officials, assistants, interpreter, and bodyguard
etc -- to leave them alone.
He didn’t want
to expose their past in their presence and embarrass his brothers. He wanted
his brothers to know he had not only forgiven them for what they had done to
them but had also forgotten everything. Not just by words but by his manner and
actions he put them at their ease.
It is also
worth mentioning here that it is not mentioned anywhere in the scriptures that Joseph
brought up the matter of the shabby way Pothipar and his wife had treated him,
even though he had the opportunity and the need to do so. It is obvious he
nurtured no grudge against them for the great injustice they had done to him.
(2) Verse 2-4: When you forgive someone, you treat them
with tenderness and compassion.
He embraced his
brothers -- particularly Benjamin -- repeatedly and cried loudly. Joseph who
had so far kept his true identity concealed from his brothers, now let down his
guard completely expressing his true feeling for them. In doing so he also
released them from their great guilt that was destroying them. The brothers
were terrified at his presence. If they were afraid before, they were
really terrified now. It had been close to twenty-five years since they had
seen him when they sold him to the Ishmaelites, and they are sure that now he
will want to get his revenge. They were too shocked and frightened to speak.
But he put them at their ease by assuring them there is no reason to feel troubled
about anything that had happened. “God has sent me here before you so that I
will be able to save lives,” he says! In other words, he tells them whatever
happened had happened according to God’s permissive will and there is no need
for the brothers to blame themselves.
This is another
sign of total and true Christian forgiveness – to make sure that the other
person doesn’t continue to suffer from guilt. Never say to yourselves you have
done your Christian duty in forgiving him but he may have to suffer the
consequences of his actions, that there is nothing you can do about that. Remember the tremendous relief
that came over you when you knew your sins had been forgiven by God. The person
you had forgiven must be washed over by this flood of relief. After forgiving
him, you must continue to pray for him, asking God to give him peace of mind, joy, and comfort.
(3) Verse 5 - 7: When you forgive someone,
his welfare becomes your responsibility.
You should care
for him or make sure he’s taken care of, that he is not led again into
situations where he will hurt another. Joseph tells his brothers that God had
sent him ahead of them in order to take care of the remnant of their families,
and to save lives. He assures them
protection and provision and starts making arrangements to get them all into
Egypt, get the Pharaoh to give them the best of the land to live in, plenty of
food in the midst of a terrible famine; he arranged employment for the
brothers.
In some cases
you save the lives of people by forgiving them. Simeon and Levi refused to forgive
the man who seduced their sister even after he regretted his actions and
promised to marry her and be friends with them. This unforgiveness resulted in
the massacre of all the men of the city. God forgave King David for his
terrible sin after punishing him, but Bathsheba’s grandfather Ahithophel
didn’t. He allowed his unforgiveness to turn into enmity and hatred for David. He joined Absalom against David and
plotted against him. Eventually, Ahithophel took his own life over a silly
matter. Thus we see unforgiveness kills, but forgiveness gives life. This is
why St. Paul
writes “But to whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if I forgave
anything, for your sakes I forgave it to him in the person of Christ; so that
we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices.”(2Cor.
2:10 , 11)
(4) Verse 5-8:
True and total forgiveness eventually benefits the person who does the
forgiving.
It frees you of
the heavy load of bitterness that, if unchecked, will poison your whole self. It
expedites your spiritual growth. It renders you very special in God’s sight. It
makes you more and more aware of God’s purpose in your life. When you stop
blaming your circumstances or others for your troubles and hardships, you realize
they had been permitted by Him according to His will and everything would
eventually work out for good – yours and others'. Nothing can happen to God’s children that are
contrary to His will. No grief, sorrow or suffering can take your peace
away in this life. Victorious Christian life will be yours forever.
Joseph had no
biblical passages to turn to for help with these matters. Nor did he have any
wise, godly counselors that we know of. He was on his own to sort it all out.
So he took what he knew of God and used it to interpret his experience of
people and the world. What was his conclusion? “You meant evil against me; but
God meant it for good”. He recognized
the overriding providence of God in all that had befallen him. He did not fail
to acknowledge that his brothers had sinned and were responsible for it, but he
saw that God’s plans for good had taken their sin into account and used it (Romans 8:28).
Jesus
issues a startling warning to those who are unable to forgive in the
above mentioned manner -- in Matthew 6:14, 15. He says “For if you forgive
people their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people their
offenses, your Father will not forgive your offenses."
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